Standing on the Brink *

I can't believe it's the end of yet another year. I feel sort of uncomfortable about 2013 just because it has just always seemed a long way away. 
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2012 has been an interesting year. 

I turned 19. I think I've become a lot more independent, living on my own in a foreign country. I got a first in my first year of university. I worked for God on an amazing mission trip that I will never forget. I lost someone very close to me. I started my transitioning journey. I organised my first youth day at church. I touched a live boa constrictor! :)

2012 has been great and I honestly thank God for everything that He has done for me this year.

2013?

You know, I feel almost on the brink, as though there's some breech between 2012 and 2013, I feel as though I can almost control whether or not I can jump over and into the next 365 days of life, almost as though I have a choice of staying in 2012 or advancing into 2013. Me parece que 2013 is like opening another door, another door leading to a world that I have never stepped into, a journey that I have yet to embark on. Unknown, mysterious, even intimidating in some respects.

2013 will mean entering a new decade of life. A new decade filled with varying sorts of experiences. I will turn 20. People will expect things from me, and I will have to stand firm and face their expectations with the resolve that things will happen in their time and according to God's Will. If all goes well, I'll graduate, I will have my first real job, I might own a car, I might buy a house, which includes the m-word. I might even get married during this next decade, or even have my first child! 

But somehow I just can't figure out how I got here so fast? I constantly feel as though I'm waiting for life to start some day, without realizing that it has started years ago and is happening even as I speak. For as long as I can remember I've always had everything planned out, it has never ever happened according to plan, (at times I'm ever SO grateful for this) but I spend so much time organizing the future that the present goes by unnoticed, unexperienced, unsacado de provecho.

2013 will be different (how cliche!) well, we'll see.

This is my attempt to loosen up.

M.I.A. 

Alecksi

*(originally posted on my Tumblr 31st December 2012)